One day, I will look back and laugh.
I will laugh at how I ever felt like my world was coming to an end. I will laugh at the struggles that keep me up at night, that make me cry every night. I will laugh at my darkest thoughts that have invaded my mind.
I will laugh because I will have conquered. I will laugh because I will have survived. I will laugh because those are going to be the times when I became my own. When I found true strength.
This year, I definitely want to rebuild my life in SF in a way. I’ve just changed my view on how I want my life to look like and the type of people I want to spend my life with. Last night’s dinner party was a great example of the people I want to surround myself with most. I am a floater and jump among all different groups of friends, so I am always having fun with different types of people. Still, I want to purposely be around people who truly make me feel like I can truly thrive with them.
Shit’s getting real and I’m ready to deal with it. When I get too anxious or scared, I usually just close up and back down. But I’m actually going to get over it and just go forward this time. If I just try, I can’t fail. If I don’t go for it, I’ll never know. Mistakes or not, if I just push forward and do things afraid (yet confidently) there’s not telling how far I can go. Maybe I could go as far as I’m reaching for, maybe I will go beyond that.